Well, that's a whole lot of truth...

Daily Extended Horoscope for January 12, 2012 (Today) Aries 3/21 – 4/19 No one is standing in your way anymore -- it's just you in charge of your life, and it's time you realized that you have more power than you have ever had before. This could be a frightening realization for you, but if you are afraid of anything, you should fear inaction the most. Push forward in a major way in at least one area of your life today. Make a change that you never felt you could make before, and you will get a taste of what's possible.

Day Date: Times Square

This weekend I went on a date.

With my city.

And, I am not afraid to say it - I am in love.  Insert hearts, flowers, candy, and candlelit dinner here.

I am short on words because I have a 4:30am wake-up call to head to Toronto for work in the morning, so I bring you instead...a few snaps from an amazing date.

I tried to tell you.

It's amazing that I can go to the M&M store anytime I want.  Which is a lot.

The goods: Dark Chocolate and Pretzel M's

Times Square was - wait for it - packed.

Lots of people hate it.  I think it has such an energy. 

I love that there are bleachers.  For people watching.

Since it was 50 degrees, even the Naked Cowboy came out of hibernation.

My favorite live music in the square.  It's just so...pretty and effortless.

Okra Slime

For how little I know about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness...I know even less about cooking.  My signature dishes include:

• Pouring soup from a can and heating it up
• Steaming vegetables in my Oster double-decker steamer
• Any form of pasta in a box with any form of tomato sauce in jar
• Sandwiches
• A bowl of cereal

Lately I've been working on smoothies, since I have finally removed the Magic Bullet that I bought 3 months ago from the box.  I am a smoothie trainwreck.  I combine all kinds of fruit together with milk or water and almost always something overpowers the other little fruits or I find that the acidic levels of one is just killing the rest.  Jamba Juice will not be hiring me in my lifetime.

Tonight for dinner I made chicken breast (put them in a pan, added water, covered it and let it rip for 10 minutes) and okra.  I bought frozen okra from Peapod, which is a mini-tangent in and of itself.  I went through the whole online setup process, purchased and had my groceries delivered. I'm still in a bit of disbelief. I love grocery shopping.  As a food marketer, time in the store is often research and discovery.  I can spend an hour wandering around a store easily.  However, grocery shopping in the city is a bit of a challenge.  The bodegas carry things in jars and cans I have never heard of.  "Fresh" veggies and produce are wrapped in saran wrap and look anything but.  Carrying the groceries back to my apartment is a feat of strength and balance I am not trained for.

So I tried Peapod.  Inevitably, the items I was most excited about turned out to be out-of-stock when the groceries arrived.  However, the toilet paper made it unscathed so I can't be a total complainer.  

Anyway, I steamed the frozen okra because that's pretty much all I know how to do and imagine my surprise and horror when I retrieved it from the streamer and it came with long, icky trails of slime.  

Yuck.

Like clear snot.  

See it hanging off the spoon?  

I had to take this one to the Google.  The Google told me "okra slime" is actually normal.  I had no idea.  Wow.  Okra 1, IronMin 0.  Well played okra.  Well played.  

I ate it and enjoyed it anyway.  My cooking is so functional and basic, I chalk this one up as learning fun new things that apparently everyone else already knew.  Now when okra comes up in conversation, as it often does, I will have an interesting anecdote to throw on the fire.

Okra Slime.  Sounds like an awesome screenplay...

Speechless...

This, is what I witnessed on the train today.

I'm afraid I am out of words.

Pictures from a glorious Central Park run

One of the best parts of where I live in NYC is that I am only 3 blocks south of Central Park by Columbus Circle.  Running in the park reminds me of Madison - not the scenery - but more the sheer number of people running, jogging, rollerblading (yes some people still do that) and walking.  In a city where 90% of the time I see women navigating sidewalks and the subway in heels and the ever-so-in this year faux fur jacket, and men in suits with perfectly polished Italian leather shoes...it is a comfort to see people doing what I am more familiar with - donning the tights & Brooks and sweating it out while looking a little less glamorous.

That said, running in Central Park still carries a certain level of fashionista...and I have found myself coveting many a hot running ensemble on my trips inside.

Since snow has only hit the city once so far this year, on October 29th of all days, it's still very much fall here.  So I bring you a few pictures from my last 5 miler in Central Park with some of my favorite discoveries so far.

This is how I find my way back home...

Near and far misses

I had one of those days when you can feel how tired you are - right down to your bones. When it is a conscious effort just to inhale.  And behind my eyes it felt as though a small fire was smoldering.

It's the first day back into "routine" after a nice two week vacation.  Two weeks where I came to realize I enjoy doing a whole lot of nothing.  If I want to.  And apparently, I did.

Around the office, I recognized the same zombie stare I was locked in.  It probably also didn't help that today is the coldest day NYC has seen since our crazy, unforecasted snow blizzard on October 29.  Everyone I talked to said the same thing...When I woke up this morning, I was so sure I was ill I nearly called in sick.

No, we're not sick.  It's just cruel reality smacking you awake right when you started to truly get into that oh-so-luxurious dream.

I was so tired I almost missed my stop on the train.  I was literally sitting there, in same zombie-like state when I noticed a man standing in front of me, staring down at me.  You start to see the same people on the train after awhile, and apparently this guy knew it was my stop and was simply waiting patiently for me to figure it out and get up so he could get my seat.

There is another way to do this Mr. Seat Stealer.  It's called "using your words".  I guess either technique works because he captured my seat as I barely made it off...just barely "bewaring the closing doors."

When I'm tired I also get a little quote-happy.  I'd apologize but hey, at least I'm sparing you one of my favorite quote violations...my infamous and almost always misused air quotes.  So, you're welcome.

You're in for a double treat because not only is this post about being tired, but it's also about being sore.  Remember my lament yesterday that I must not be doing P90x right because nothing hurt?

Scratch that.

I can't lift my arms above my shoulders.  Without wincing.  Whining.  Then crying.

Yet, I went back for more today.  Day 2.  Plyometrics.  At the end, Tony Horton does this hip-hip-hooray type move where he throws his hands up to high five and celebrate.  I forgot where I was, how I was feeling, and that I live alone.  I was so exalted that we were done I threw mine up too to high five no one...

Missed

Then lost my balance and fell down.

This is why I am doing this alone in my living room.

So this is where I leave you - with 2 near misses...and one far.  I am missing someone today. When I wander around NYC and spend hours watching the faces and searching the eyes of random strangers as I people-watch, I imagine that we are all missing someone, all the time. Whether it's on the surface or just below, or buried deep in the subconscious, isn't there always someone we are thinking about?  I'm missing someone far away, who is celebrating something very important and special to them today.  I can't be there, but my thoughts are.   Sometimes, that's all life let's us do.

Day 1...89 to go

Today I officially embarked on a new fitness journey.

Day 1 of P90x.

I finally broke down and bought the DVDs over the holiday break and since then I have been simultaneously dreading and looking forward to today. Today was Arms & Back with a little Ab Ripper thrown in.

Today was also further confirmation that I severely lack physical coordination and have literally no ability to tell my right from my left - especially when trying to mirror an extremely buff, way too enthusiastic workout maestro on my TV.  A TV that generally doesn't hurt me. Until today.

But wait, there's more.

I cannot do a single pull-up. Not a single one. I can't even fake it with the chair. By day 90 I better be zipping off 20 of those suckers. Despite the odds, I remain ever so optimistic.

Nothing really hurts yet. That's probably because I'm not doing it right. We'll see tomorrow.

I am a little nervous about kicking this new routine off. Not for the obvious reason that I fear I will get so incredibly ripped that friends and strangers may mistake me for a bodybuilder. I mean, that's clearly a concern but I have a darker, more likely outcome - I won't stick with it. So I am using the blog to keep me accountable. As soon as I can figure it out, I'm putting some sort of P90x tracker on here so I can't do what I usually do...quietly just stop talking about whatever it is that I was so excited to start but then embarrassingly quit in midstream.

So here we are. New Year. New workout plan. And after yesterday's purging post, I am in a surprisingly light and peaceful mood. Tomorrow it's back to work, and with my new plan I am scheduled to do P90x BEFORE I begin the commute to the office. THAT will be a true feat of strength.

you will be mine...

A New Year Cleanse

I did some meaningful purging today.  In honor of the beginning of the new year, I decided it was a good day to sift through the tangible memories I had been carrying with me - the words and memories I have spent the past year trying to understand, make sense of, resolve.

Note to self...there is never a good day to do this.

Yet, it had to be done. Some would argue, it was well overdue.  I knew this moment would come as I had also come to realize that I couldn't carry the heaviness with me anymore.

Conducting my own private ritual of letting go of the past hurt like hell.  It did exactly what I was afraid it would do - it dredged up a lot of pain, confusion, anxiety, and even tears.  As I reread so much of what I had to let go of, it brought it all back to the forefront.  In my heart I know he let go of this, and me, a very long time ago.  That hurts too, but I have learned I cannot control what other people will say, do, or feel.  I can only attempt to navigate my own world and do things like this in my own time.  When I feel strong enough to do it.  Even if it takes a year.

The digital age robs us of the grace of a moment like this.  Clearing the past, removing what has been holding you back is almost anti-climatic when it is as simple as hitting delete. Something so simple still took every ounce of strength I have. I found solace in that I could be alone to do it and do it my way, as messy as it was.

I am sad. I am allowing myself to feel it.  I am also in a bit of shock that I did it.  I finally found the courage to put the past where it belongs and go into the new year lighter.  As of today I am carrying only what I truly need right now - family, friends, and what's inside me. A friend asked me what I wanted to see happen personally for me this year and I said without hesitation...I just want to be.  Just be. No complicated matters of the heart.  It's a relief to say it, accept it, and be excited about it.

This was a really big step today and I believe it sets the tone for the new year.  Let's really start writing the next chapter, shall we?

2012